So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
