im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
