it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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