do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
