Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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