and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
where does the pee come out of this thing
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
