Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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