so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
