The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
