Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Those nachos came to me in a dream
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
