Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
