last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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