i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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