wrigley field is MILF paradise
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
