i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Randomize
