Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Randomize
