I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
