In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
