Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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