i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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