North Korea, Best Korea!
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
