Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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