I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
