ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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