Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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