you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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