he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
