Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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