do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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