Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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