Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Randomize
