It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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