yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
birth control should be required to get into college
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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