She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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