my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
