Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Randomize
