So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
