I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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