You're my little dorito
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
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