I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I would ride that face into the sunset
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
