Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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