the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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