My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Text me some of your sweat
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
