also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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