Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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