the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Randomize
