Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
