Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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