it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
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