Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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