Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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